Life is very interesting... in the end, some of your greatest pains, become your greatest strengths. ~ Drew Barrymore ![]() I love the time of year when parents proudly post and share their children's prom and graduation pictures. It's without a doubt an accomplishment worthy of celebration; It's an epoch to cherish forever! 🎓🎉 Now, this might not be the best graduation picture you've seen. It's not even an original! However, it's the only graduation picture I have! Here I am, in a cap and gown, I was not permitted to wear after the picture was taken. Allow me to share with you how this picture, for so many years, represented a personal narrative with FAILURE written all over it. I encourage you to read my personal journey from Guatemala to the United States. This post provides a background of where I came from and how I made it to America as an undocumented and unaccompanied minor. Embracing Education January 1994 marks the date I started attending school in the United States. I was 15 years old when I was enrolled at Martin Van Buren High School in Queens Village, New York. I was very confused at the thought of starting in high school since I had not completed any of the junior high school years. I was explained that because of my age I needed to be placed in the 9th grade. Talk about widening the achievement gap right?! Anyway, I was thrilled to start school! I was fascinated by the alluring, towering, and gleaming school. It was so clean and the structure was something I had only seen on TV. I was stunned when they handed me a pass to ride the bus to and from school. For so many years I had walked miles to attend school, and now I get to ride the bus?! Oh, but wait...it got better. Free breakfast and lunch! WOW! I sincerely could not have asked for more. I realized that school was supplying my essential needs so I can just attend school and LEARN! From the very first day I started, I gave it ALL I had. I didn't speak a word of English but I made sure I took advantage of every single opportunity available to learn. I enrolled in morning classes, afternoon classes, evening classes, and even weekend English courses. There was no stopping me! I was in a land of opportunities and I was going for it! ESL, ESL and More ESL During my first school year, my classes consisted of English as Second Language (ESL) one after the other. I had wonderful ESL teachers. Very friendly, always making me feel welcomed. One ESL teacher knew a little bit of Spanish so if I needed something, she was my go-to person. ESL classes were very old-school structured - textbook guided kind of lessons. There was no interaction, just a lot of note-taking and worksheet practice. I didn't understand then why I wanted to get out of ESL so bad. TODAY I realize that not being able to be part of the courses other students were taking was making me feel somewhat a failure. In some way, walking the school hallways as an ESL student made me feel inferior and worthless of "real" learning. I had different classes, different textbooks, different schedules. I was different. A determination within me ignited to learn English to get out of the ESL status. So, during my junior year, (one and a half years after starting school), I placed out of ESL after taking the annual language assessment. I was super excited because that meant that I was allowed to enroll in core courses to gain credits for graduation. I started taking economics, history, math, biology, health...etc. But, oh boy, this is where the real struggle as a language learner began. My sitting spot was always at the front in all my classes. I wanted to be as close as possible to the teachers and the boards. I took as many notes as possible in each class. I brought home all my textbooks to review and to complete assignments. I realized that the school had a library that would give me books to take home, so I checked out 3 different types of dictionaries and thesaurus. I would use these at home to translate my notes and to complete assignments. Of course, my school work was always done after making dinner and putting my siblings to bed! Don't forget, even though we were in the U.S. I was still the oldest child and expected to care for the little ones while mom worked. My mother can attest to how I would stay up till 3:00 am completing assignments and studying my notes! I enjoyed learning. I cherished new information. I was like a sponge soaking it all in! I will never forget the day I started reading my economics textbook and the terms "supply" and "demand" began to make sense to me! I was understanding the words...I was understanding the content! I was learning! I must have finished my economics book in a day or two. I started passing my classes and earning the required credits for graduation. I was so focused on school work that didn't care much about "Senior's field trip" or "prom". To be honest, I didn't know how important these events were. All I wanted was to get my credits, and pass the required assessments to graduate! I have learned how important and necessary a high school diploma was to be able to go to college. I wanted to go to college! I wanted to be the first in my family to obtain a career! I wanted to be a teacher! I wanted to make a difference! I had the vigor, so I knew I could do it. What you can't see in the graduation image above is the excitement I felt getting my graduation pictures done with my cap and gown! The Walk of Shame During my senior year, I was required to take some standardized state assessments. I don't remember exactly which ones I had to take, but the one I will never forget is the United States History State Exam. I was not prepared for this exam. I have not taken enough classes to learn the required information to pass the test. I had only been in the United States for 2+ years to know its history. However, this standardized exam and every other exam were required no matter what. So I took the exam...not once, but twice. First time in English and failed. Second time in Spanish but failed. I was called into the guidance counselor's office to chat with a guidance counselor who kindly explained to me that passing the U.S. History exam was a requirement for graduation and without it, I was NOT going to be able to graduate. She said, "You have all your required credits for graduation so you don't have to continue in school."; "Go home, study, and come back next year to take the test again. Once you pass, you'll get your diploma." ![]() r"Go home"; "Study"; "Come back next year"; "You're done" These words echoed in my head as tears ran down my cheeks. That afternoon I walked out of Martin Van Buren High School for the LAST time. The walk of shame from the guidance counselor's office and down every step outside the building felt like an eternity! I was crushed. I was so disappointed in myself. I was disappointed in the school system for the lack of support. How was I going to explain this to my family? Where was I going to get the strengths to "study" for the test once I was out of school? I have failed. I was a failure. I became part of the statistics of a Latino high school dropout in the United States because I didn't go back. "Why go back?" I thought... "I failed it twice, there's no way I can make it now." So, if I wasn't going to school then I had to work. So at the age of 18, I got my first full-time job as a cashier at a local supermarket. My first job in the USA. I was a cashier at C-Town in Floral Park, NY. I was a very efficient worker. I worked hours after hours to earn money...or perhaps to forget and avoid how I was feeling. ![]() This, of course, is not how my story ends... Did you notice the quote above?!? Life is very interesting... in the end, some of your greatest pains, become your greatest strengths. ~ Drew Barrymore This was just an epoch in my life that motivated me to become who I am today. So, stay tuned for my next post and learn how my personal narrative changes from FAILURE to SUCCESS because of education. 👀 Read my post on resources to support newcomers be successful in school! 👀 Thank you for reading!
6 Comments
johan
4/27/2017 01:52:42 pm
you rock
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alan
4/27/2017 01:53:47 pm
I LOVE your pergraf
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Betzy
4/27/2017 01:55:02 pm
I like your story you are awesome.
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alan
4/27/2017 01:56:54 pm
i love your beyootofol graf it is nise 21 $$$$$$$$$$$$$
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Ebony Clewis
12/31/2018 09:52:02 am
I am a new first grade teacher and was looking for a resource in how to put all of the WIDA info together and make sense of it as I write follow-up reports for my ELLP students. I came across your site and downloaded each document that you hyperlinked. Thank you for these documents. You story is wonderful. I was able to relive your thinking, happiness and unfortunately, your pain. I am glad that I have you as a resource. You are the strength that I see in some of little first grade girls and boys. Love Ya' and have a happy new year!
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Emily
12/31/2018 01:13:58 pm
Hello!
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